Today was our first meeting with Dr. Reddy, medical oncologist. Great doctor. However, Scott and I both felt like this was our first real reality check. We've been sort of cruising along, thinking we were sailing right through everything, for the most part. Granted, the surgery was HUGE, and I've had pain and emotional ups and downs. Not discounting any of that. But today, I felt like it was really real. Hard to explain, but I felt pretty devastated to hear about my chemo regimen. I guess I had it in my head that my chemo would be easy, with only one drug, no hair loss, and little side effects. Well, that rug got pulled out from under me today. Because my cancer proved to be a very aggressive type, and all the criteria that went along with that, two other types of chemo drugs will be administered along with the Herceptin ( the one with fewer side effects). So, I will receive four rounds of the "T" & "C" chemo, each three weeks apart, and then the Herceptin will continue every three weeks for a year. The "T" drug is the one that will cause me to lose my hair, and mess with my fingernails, etc. in addition to the fatigue, nausea, and all the other typical side effects of chemotherapy.
I don't know why, but the hair loss part is what bothers me more than anything. I can't even explain it. They said it will happen pretty fast, too. Renown offers huge support for this, so I will definitely pursue that help. They have a program called "Look Good Feel Good" where cosmetologists come in and do makeovers and show you how to use scarves, hats and wigs. All volunteers and no cost for the 2 hour consult. So I will partake in that before the chemo starts.
The other component to today's realization is how bad I feel for my husband. He has been with me through every last bit of this. And if you know Scott at all, you know what a "fix it" kind of guy he is. I know how hard this is for him to have to stand by knowing this is the one thing he can't fix. It just kills him. What he doesn't seem to get, is how his presence alone can make me feel better. I really couldn't do this without him. I really believe it is more difficult being the caregiver than being the patient.
Well, that's where my head is right now.
Bottom line... I know without a doubt I will get through all of this, and be better for it. I also know what a powerful force (ie all of you!) I have standing by my side, lifting me up, praying for me, and simply showing your love and support for me. It truly means the world to me.
So thank you and God bless you all!
I don't know why, but the hair loss part is what bothers me more than anything. I can't even explain it. They said it will happen pretty fast, too. Renown offers huge support for this, so I will definitely pursue that help. They have a program called "Look Good Feel Good" where cosmetologists come in and do makeovers and show you how to use scarves, hats and wigs. All volunteers and no cost for the 2 hour consult. So I will partake in that before the chemo starts.
The other component to today's realization is how bad I feel for my husband. He has been with me through every last bit of this. And if you know Scott at all, you know what a "fix it" kind of guy he is. I know how hard this is for him to have to stand by knowing this is the one thing he can't fix. It just kills him. What he doesn't seem to get, is how his presence alone can make me feel better. I really couldn't do this without him. I really believe it is more difficult being the caregiver than being the patient.
Well, that's where my head is right now.
Bottom line... I know without a doubt I will get through all of this, and be better for it. I also know what a powerful force (ie all of you!) I have standing by my side, lifting me up, praying for me, and simply showing your love and support for me. It truly means the world to me.
So thank you and God bless you all!
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