I don't know why, but the hair loss part is what bothers me more than anything. I can't even explain it. They said it will happen pretty fast, too. Renown offers huge support for this, so I will definitely pursue that help. They have a program called "Look Good Feel Good" where cosmetologists come in and do makeovers and show you how to use scarves, hats and wigs. All volunteers and no cost for the 2 hour consult. So I will partake in that before the chemo starts.
The other component to today's realization is how bad I feel for my husband. He has been with me through every last bit of this. And if you know Scott at all, you know what a "fix it" kind of guy he is. I know how hard this is for him to have to stand by knowing this is the one thing he can't fix. It just kills him. What he doesn't seem to get, is how his presence alone can make me feel better. I really couldn't do this without him. I really believe it is more difficult being the caregiver than being the patient.
Well, that's where my head is right now.
Bottom line... I know without a doubt I will get through all of this, and be better for it. I also know what a powerful force (ie all of you!) I have standing by my side, lifting me up, praying for me, and simply showing your love and support for me. It truly means the world to me.
So thank you and God bless you all!