Wow- here we are seven years later...
I was going to wait to post anything here, but for the sake of my memory, I’m going to post what I know now.
Life has been plugging along, usually with one health issue or another, but nothing that involves that ugly “c” word. Since this blog has mainly focused on my cancer journey, that’s what I will report on, at least in this posting.
I have made the decision to have my breast implants removed. I have several personal reasons for coming to this decision. Basically, I have done a lot of research on what is being termed Breast Implant Illness (BII). While not yet recognized as a “real” illness, tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of women have experienced this anomaly and have felt amazingly better after explanting. When I started looking at the information and long list of symptoms, I realized I may be one of those women! Just as a side note, mine are not the recalled implants, so it doesn’t have anything to do with that. I just feel like the chronic problems I have had and thought were due to chemo, or the cancer itself, may indeed be due to my body constantly trying to fight this foreign object in my body. I really won’t know if that is true or not until the implants are removed. There are no tests to check that while the implants are still there. With this being an elective procedure, it is not covered by insurance. So I am taking the risk, paying big bucks to a very qualified plastic surgeon, that this is going to help. My hope is that I will have more energy, not be so drained, and my inflammation markers will go down and hopefully return to normal. I have had unexplained inflammation for about six years, about one year after the implants were placed. It will be nice to know I won’t have any more foreign parts in my body.
Now let me be clear about one thing: I make absolutely no judgements on anyone that has implants, especially after mastectomy. My belief is that every individual in the situation I was in, needs to do what is best for them. I still believe I did what was best for me at the time, seven years ago. I never dreamed I would even consider removing g my implants! I just feel that right now at this time, I am doing what is right for me.
OK- so now that you all know that part...
my surgery is scheduled for Monday, Jan. 20, 2020. Ya- like next Monday! It has actually been planned for well over a month.
I went to see my oncologist, Dr. Reddy, 12/10/19 and let him know about my explant plan. It was time for my yearly breast MRI, so he thought I should have that done before the explant surgery. The MRI was scheduled for 1/2/2020. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate MRIs?!? I absolutely hate them! It took all I had, even with a little Xanax onboard, to get through that test.
Two days later, on a Saturday, I got an email with the MRI results. The results said there was an abnormal lymph node in the right axillary area. It said I needed to follow up and talk to my oncologist and have further testing, as that was the only way to rule out a recurrence of cancer.
Great- so there I was, on a weekend, unable to talk to my doctor until Monday, wondering if I have stupid cancer again. Well, Monday came along and I spoke to my oncologist’s nurse. My dr was on hospital call that week and unavailable to talk to. Ugh! She called me the next day after finally talking to the oncologist and she set up an ultrasound as the next step in further testing. So more waiting...
I had the U/S yesterday, 1/14/20. The radiologist talked to me afterwards and wanted me to come back for an Ultrasound guided needle biopsy. I went back today and they did the biopsy. So now I wait again, but this time I will have a more definitive answer as to whether or not I have a cancer recurrence, or just an abnormal lymph node. Definitely hoping and praying for the latter!
On my way home from the biopsy today, Dr. Reddy (my oncologist) called me. He kind of laid out what would happen IF the biopsy showed cancer cells. IF that was to happen, I would have to cancel my explant surgery and have more testing in the form of a PET scan. If the recurrence was localized, he would recommend surgery to remove that lymph node and any surrounding nodes. He said then we would discuss where to go from there. He also made mention that this is still 50-50 chance and to try not to worry until results are in. Ya sure... I know he means well, but geez...
There is still a part of me remaining positive and unwilling to believe this could be a recurrence. There’s also a part of me that is extremely angry that I even have to go through this again... the worry and waiting and not knowing. The biggest part of me right now is just scared and anxious and upset that I’m walking this path again. My hope is that in the next couple of days this path will come to a screeching halt, and all will be well...
I will be back in a couple days, hopefully with the outcome that will put a smile on all our faces!!
Oh ya, one more thing! I haven’t mentioned, in this post anyways, how wonderful my husband is, and how blessed I am to have all the love and support around me. If nothing else comes from going through all of this, I am once again reminded of the blessings in my life. I hate that it’s these kind of circumstances that gives us those reminders, but here is yet another validation of why things happen... even shitty things!
Love and Blessings to anyone who might still be reading this blog! 😘💗

Wow! Today marks one year since I started this blog! Can't even believe all that has happened in this past year.

My intention of keeping the blog was so I could document my journey in one place and keep family and friends informed.

I kind of dropped the ball last June. Not much was going on anymore. I was still receiving Herceptin treatments every three weeks and feeling pretty good. My hair was slowly growing back and I felt I was getting my life back a little bit! I was looking forward to the birth of my first grandchild! How great is that?!?

About that same time, Scott and I decided it would be better to move closer to Reno, where all my medical care is. Also, closer to my family again. I really missed everyone, being just a little too far away in Janesville. So we started looking for something in the Cold Springs area. We did find a house with an amazing yard, and moved at the end of October.

During the summer, I was lucky enough to travel to San Jose with my sisters, Carolyn and Laura. We visited many relatives I hadn't seen for a long time! It was a special visit. I stayed at Laura's a few extra days after that. While there, I had a slight relapse of shingles in my right ear. Ouch!

Then around the first of September, my sister, June, and her children, Jess and Greg, came out for a visit! I cannot tell you how happy I was to see her! She had had her first chemo a couple weeks before, and had shaved her head. She looked beautiful! She had some wonderful scarves and hats, and was handling everything amazingly well!

We all traveled down to SJ once again. Unfortunately, it was for a funeral this time. My moms first cousin, Victor, had passed away. All of my siblings were able to attend the amazing service his nine children organized in his memory. I was lucky enough to have visited with Victor when I was down there earlier in the summer.

It was so good to have all six of us together again, if only briefly. I cherish my crazy, loving family!

By the way, June has finished all her treatment!!! Both chemo and radiation! Yay!!! I'm very happy for her and hope she finds some sort of new normal in her life now.

So, since we moved closer to Reno, I hosted a huge baby shower about two weeks after our move. Then I had more reconstructive surgery ten days after that, on Nov. 26. Yes- two days before Thanksgiving! It ended up being a bit more invasive than I thought it was going to be! Scott ended up cooking most of our Thanksgiving dinner!

Then, on December 7, our new grandson was born! Jonathon James Massey is the apple of our eyes now! What a sweetie! He is such a blessing to our family!

On Dec. 14, I ended up being admitted to the hospital where I spent three nights due to cellulitis. I had a high fever and my white blood cell count was up. My skin on my trunk and breasts was bright red and hot. I had been healing really well from my surgery, so we're still not sure the source of the infection. I am still on heavy duty antibiotics for that.

So my last Herceptin treatment got delayed a week, due to the illness. When I went in last Monday for it, my oncologist informed me he was suspending my treatment at this time. My last heart scan, which was on Dec. 11, showed a decrease in heart function. This is a side effect of the Herceptin. So that explained the shortness of breath and more tiredness. I had thought it was just life in general doing that to me!

I still managed to host Christmas Eve with about twenty people here! Of course, I had a lot of help! My sister, Laura, did a lot of the work! I didn't even have the energy to bake this year!

But I sure did enjoy being with my family!

At this point in time, I am just waiting until Jan. 15, when I will have my next heart scan to see if function is improving.

I have really remained positive throughout this last year, and have so much to be thankful for! But the last couple of weeks have been so difficult to remain in that frame of mind. When I was sick in the hospital, I felt more sick than any of the chemo ever made me feel. So frustrating...

And now the heart thing... How much can one take?!?

I only had about four more Herceptin treatments and the dr. Said if my heart function came back up, I could resume. I'm thinking I'm pretty much done with it at this point.

I thought I was goin to be able to go back to work and wa so close to having the ideal job. I ended up having to withdraw my application.

At least I have all kinds of free time for my grandson!

I guess I still need to just concentrate on getting better. Just thought this was almost all behind me now!

I'm really hoping the New Year 2014 will bring us all much health and happiness!

That's all for now. I'll try to check in a little more often, so I get things down before I forget!!

PS sorry for all the pictures, but I have been wanting to do a compilation of my hair growth!

Ok, I know it's been a while since my last blog. My last chemo was on May 20, and it was short and sweet. Just the Herceptin, which is what I will continue with every three weeks until mid February.
This is the one that has very little or no side effects. As a matter of fact, that very same day, Scott and I flew to Tucson! Spent five glorious days down there relaxing while Scott had a work related class to attend.
So, overall, it seems to be getting a little better every day! I just wish I could have a little more energy back!
Enough about me...
And now the reason I titled this blog "unbelievable."
On May 22, my sister, June, was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. She discovered a lump in her left breast about the first week of May. Sadly, this also coincided with the first anniversary of her husband's death from a car accident.
As if she hasn't endured enough in the past year, now this! UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE!!!!!
It's a damn good thing us Widwomen are tough cookies! But Geeeezzzzz...
I know with tons of love and support she too, will get through this. I have no doubt about that! I know it has worked for me!
So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers and lift her up like you did for me!!
Hard to believe that just six months ago, we had no history of breast cancer in our immediate family. Now two of us diagnosed with it. Again, UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE!

Adding insult to injury following last week's chemo, I am now being treated for shingles! Late Saturday night I finally put it all together when another cluster broke out on the back of my scalp. I'd had the usual achy, feverish flu like symptoms following last weeks chemo. But I also had some throbbing head pain, thought my glands seemed a little swollen and sore, and generally felt like I was trying to fight something off without an immune system to do so! And- all those symptoms were on the right side only. Tell tale signs for shingles! Oh- ha! And I'm over 50!
So on Sunday morning I talked to the oncologist and he concurred with my diagnosis and called in antiviral med and an antibiotic. Wait- I mean HORSE PILLS! These are the biggest pills I've ever had to take! But hopefully they will do the trick!
At first, I didn't think it was all that bad. Not tooo painful or itchy like a lot of people describe. Well, apparently if you give it a minute, that changes! The pain, while not constant, is more intense when there. It's mostly on the side of my head in the temporal area.
The itching is a bit more severe too. But again, not constant. I've been so good about not scratching so the blisters don't open. But let me tell you- this is one UGLY ailment! I have them on my neck, my chin, the back of my bald head, my ear, and my upper arm.
It's funny, the right side of my throat hurts a bit too.
I will see the doctor on Wednesday, at which time I'm sure he'll just say, "yep- it's shingles. Keep taking your meds!"
I must admit, I was a little depressed last night. I had this vision of starting to feel better and better with each new day following that last chemo session a week ago. And now here I am, hurting and feeling crappier!
Ok, pity party over! I know... the words a wonderful woman used to tell me all the time (my mommy!)...
THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!
I just ask you to please keep me in your prayers, good thoughts or whatever... And I'll be more than happy to do the same for you! Thanks.

Receiving my fourth chemo treatment today. This will be the final Taxotere and Cytoxin treatment! Those are the bad boys! No reaction to the taxotere today. They ran it really slow so that helped. My port was accessed on the first try! And my boy is keeping me company today! It's all going well so far! We will stay at Becky and Jared's again tonight. Going out to dinner to celebrate a few things: Becky and Jared for taking such good care of us; Christopher's 21st birthday (May 1); and my last "bad" chemo! Yay!
Tomorrow will be the last Neulasta shot. And a follow up visit to Dr. Kiener, the plastic surgeon.
Then, for the next year, I wil just have the Herceptin infusion every three weeks. That is the targeted therapy that only takes about a half hour and has very little side effects. It will be a piece of cake in comparison!
I am still losing some of the stubble left on my head. I thought I was done with that, but yesterday I was rubbing my head and noticed a lot of it on my hands! I may end up with a true chrome dome after all!
Anyway, overall, I'm doing well today- just hope that translates to doing well in the next few days, too! We shall see!
Hope all of you are healthy, happy, and enjoying life!

Third chemo treatment yesterday (Tuesday) and Neulasta shot today.
The oncology group moved into their new office about a week ago. Quite a bit nicer than the old one, but still some work to complete.
Anyway, didn't get off to a very good start yesterday. When they accessed my port, they couldn't get a positive blood flow. They push saline in and then retract to make sure there is good blood flow through the port. When that doesn't happen, it usually means a sheath has formed which kinda acts as a one way valve. So they push a clot breaking medication in and wait... Usually about 15-20 minutes. Then they check for positive blood retraction. An hour and a half later it finally broke through. Not a great amount, but enough! I did everything but stand in my head trying to bleed! Geez!
So then they started the meds. They give me nausea and steroid medication first. Then the Herceptin. Then the bad boy: Taxotere. I had a reaction again this time. I got real flush, a little nauseous and the heavy feeling on my chest. This time I immediately told the nurse and she stopped it. It took about a half hour for the symptoms to subside, then they started it up again. I did ok after that. Then finally the Cytoxin.
It was a very long day. I was there from 9am til 4pm. I did watch a movie on my tablet. At least this office has wifi. Netflix sure comes in handy in this situation!
We had a nice evening with Becky and Jared. We are so blessed to have them welcome us into their home every three weeks! It's been great! Just love those two!
Today I went back to the office and had my Neulasta shot to boost the white blood cell count. Also, have a red rash across my nose and cheeks, very flushed. Another side effect.
Now I'm back home, feeling a bit nauseous this evening and kinda crappy, generally speaking.
But the good news is I only have one more of these bad chemos!!! Yay! Three down, one to go. After that, I will only get the Herceptin, which is the targeted therapy for the HER2 receptors, which I tested positive for initially. This will only take about a half hour each time, still once every three weeks. And no shot afterward so we dont have to spend the night. we will miss our visits with Becky and Jared, but hope to do some camping with them this summer!
The side effects of the Herceptin are minimal, mostly just fatigue. Much easier than the ones I've had thus far.
Now if I could eliminate the hot flashes!! Ugh! I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm cold... And when I say I'm hot, I mean whew- H.O.T. !!!!! So weird!
Well, that's all for now. Thank you all once again for continually keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

Sometimes the days go by so fast, a week passes by and here we are! And if I don't keep track of my journey here, I will surely forget the events of yesterday, let alone a week ago!
I had my second chemo treatment last Tuesday, March 19, and feel like I kind lost a few days somewhere in there! This last infusion hit me a little harder than the first one. During the taxotere infusion, I had a slight side effect of dizziness and heaviness on my chest. It lasted less than 5 minutes, so I told the nurse after the fact. She described what the possible side effects can be, and I said, "yep, that was it!"
The following day I felt a little puny. Not much energy, and not much appetite.
Then Thursday and Friday it felt like I had the flu. The nausea wasn't all that bad ( thank God!) but I just felt achy all over, slept quite a bit, and ran a bit of a fever. Friday afternoon it kind of peaked, then broke. I tell you, you sure don't feel like doing anything feeling that way!
I had no appetite either. I hate that. I felt a little hungry, but the actual thought of eating something was very unappealing.
Luckily by Saturday morning my appetite was back, and I made a good breakfast! Mmmm bacon!
I also switched nausea meds after I had complained to the oncology nurse on Wednesday of a continual headache. That's when I found out about the headache side effect of the Zofran nausea med. It seemed to help. I have been headache free for about three days now! Yay!
The chemo meds must be doing their thing. I have had so many other little side effects that let me know this to be true. From the continued hair loss everywhere, (still have eyebrows, eyelashes so far!) to bloody nose, watery eyes, drippy nose, itchy areas, constipation, chapped lips, forgetfulness, and... Hmmm... Can't remember what else! Ya, that's what this stuff does to you! But you know what, I'm am half way through the bad treatments now and KNOW without a doubt I can get through it all!
I have decided, with Scott's encouragement, that it would be best to just take the whole year off while I am on chemotherapy. Between the risks of working with the patients I do, and the constant state if illness in the clinic (ie other employees), not to mention the tiredness and side effects, and the traveling we have to do for all these appointments, I don't feel like I can be a very effective RDH right now! I know many of you have done it, and I truly admire you! Just got to do what feels right for me!
Well, I guess that's all for right now. My next chemo is April 9.
Hope everyone has a very BLESSED Holy Week, and remembers the sacrifice made on our behalf so long ago. God has been so good to me through this journey showing me that all that really matters is the love in our lives and our relationships.
Thank you all for your outpouring and reminding me how rich I am with family, friends, and love!

Well, the part I have been dreading the most has arrived right on schedule. I was told I would start to lose my hair two weeks after my first chemo treatment. Today is two weeks exactly and sure enough, it's starting to fall. Yesterday I noticed just a few strands in the shower. I generally never lose much hair at all. So I really took notice even though it might not have seemed like much. Then today, there was no doubt whatsoever.
I have kind of been obsessing about this and find myself constantly running my fingers through my hair- you know- just to check! Like I wouldn't know!
It is such a weird thing to have your hair fall out. I've always been one to "do" my hair every day. I guess I'll get a break from that for a while...
So I called the salon where I got my wig. They are seeing me tomorrow to shave my head and trim my wig for me. I do not want to wait for my hair to come out in big clumps- that would just be way too freaky for me. So I am choosing to be proactive and shave it all now.
It is amazing how quickly these changes take place. I'm so glad I am able to get in tomorrow to get a jump on it.
Scott will be with me tomorrow, so I won't have to do this by myself.
Now if I could just get rid of the head ache that seems to go along with this.
Oh- and the acne! Geez- I haven't broken out like this for years and years! All these lovely side effects that tell me the icky meds are doing their thing. That's a good thing, right?!?
And then, in one week, I have my second treatment... And so it goes...

Well, I did it! And it wasn't so bad! I was actually very pleased with the experience. I honestly didn't know how I would react. I was a little worried I might just fall apart at the sight of my head being shaved.
Actually, it was really quite liberating having it gone. Seeing how quickly I was starting to lose it (the hair on my head, not my mind!), I just felt so good knowing I don't have to worry about it anymore!
It was funny- the girls in the salon kept telling me what a beautiful head I have! Looking at the pictures, it isn't bad! Just makes my face look a little fatter, but it's a healthy look, right?!? Haha!
I want to say thanks again to those who have walked this path before me and gave me encouragement to do this. It really is so much better than having to have it fall out in clumps.
Now I'm anxious to see if my doggies bark at me when we get home, without the wig on! Hopefully no one else will be too bothered by seeing the pictures here... But if you are- well too bad! It's me, and I'm ok with it! Really!
So here's the before, during, after and wig pictures...

These first days following my first session of chemo have been a bit of a roller coaster ride. The first and second day I really felt pretty darn good. Then on Thursday, I woke up feeling crappy. I thought maybe it was just the fact that my constitution was still not working well from the prior week's general anesthesia. I swear, it completely shuts me down. Nothing more miserable... Anyway, the whole day I felt slightly nauseous with achy, flu like symptoms. Also just very tired. Not much appetite, but managed to keep hydrated and clear liquids on board.
By Friday, I was feeling better, just can't shake the fatigue. I did force myself on the treadmill and walked a mile.
Saturday-same.
Yesterday, Sunday, was a pretty good day, too. Went to Mass and actually ate a
Sub sandwich and it tasted really good!
Unfortunately, by the evening, I had some really bad low back pain. I am guessing it was from the Neulasta shot which helps boost white blood cell count. They said I might get pain, but I thought it would be within a day or two, not five days later! I tried a heating pad, walking on the treadmill, and aspercreme with no relief at all. Finally took a muscle relaxer, Xanax and a lidocaine patch. It was pretty bad pain. Happy to say, it was all but gone by this morning. I actually felt pretty good today, even well enough to vacuum. I know I'll be sorry for taking that chore back from Scott!
So, overall, I'm just takin one day at a time, and dealing with whatever crosses my path. The oncologist said this week might actually be worse than last week, but I'm hoping for the best!
I'm supposed to start physical therapy on Friday, so hopefully I will be fine for that. The PT is mainly to strengthen the upper extremities that were weakened from surgery. Hopefully it will only be one or two sessions... I really don't need to add another trip to Reno!
As always, thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers. You have no idea how much it means to me- really!